Actor Desmond Tan welcomes first baby, says army training helped prepare him for the delivery room

Desmond Tan and his wife became parents on Tuesday (Mar 5) when their baby girl joined the family. “It’s quite surreal – I think it only started sinking in this afternoon,” said the 37-year-old Mediacorp actor, when CNA Lifestyle spoke to him on Wednesday afternoon. 

He shared that the couple had just completed a routine checkup and were having dinner when contractions began and they were advised to go to the hospital. They had their bag all packed, but didn’t have time to go home and get it.

After 26 hours of labour, their daughter was born, weighing 2.9kg.

“She has big eyes, double eyelids, very cute little lips, a very sharp chin and a lot of hair,” Desmond said, adding that he thinks she currently looks more like his wife.

Of course, she didn’t look quite like that when she first came into the world. Instead, she looked more like a "bloody, wrinkly baby that looks like a miniature 1,000-year-old human being". 

"I was like, ‘Okay, this is my creation’,” the actor quipped.

Although the first moments felt “strange”, “there was a strong and interesting connection – a new human being you’ve never met before. It felt like seeing someone I knew, yet didn’t know. But, I know this person will be a lifelong friend. And, of course, I am responsible for this stranger”.

In the hours that followed, after spending time together, “That’s when I really fell in love with her”.

Tan said he was by his wife’s side throughout the labour and birth, being both “the cheerleader” and “the calm one” – but admitted that “I didn’t dare lean over to see the process” of birth. “I peeked over a few times and just saw blood – I also didn’t want to bump into the gynaecologist – so I thought, ‘Okay, better not to see it’."

Still, he said, he put his all into performing his husbandly duty. In fact, “I think my army training in National Service prepared me for it. It felt like a 48-hour activation – really reminds me of my commando years! When you are activated, you have to be on standby within two to four hours. And as an officer, you need clarity of mind to make quick decisions, and navigate unknown terrain.”

He also brought his DSLR and Polaroid cameras to document the birth, and is quite happy with some of the photos.

“The next thing I’m looking forward to is bringing the baby home to meet her brothers,” he said, referring to his two dogs. “Hoshi was sick and managed to pull through, so it’s a dream come true that he’ll be able to meet her. And Udon is not a fan of babies and kids, so he’ll probably bark.”

He added that he’s “super proud” of his wife, who is recovering well. “When you see someone going through labour, you get to see how much mothers have to go through to bring a human being into the world. I have even more mad respect for all the mothers in the world now.”

Although they’ve decided on the baby’s English and Chinese names, “I don’t think we’ll be sharing those at the moment”, Desmond said. “We are still trying to think of a nickname that people can refer to her by, so she isn’t just ‘Desmond’s daughter’.”

'DD' kind of has a ring to it – suggestions welcome.