Game Of Thrones: Who will win, who will die and who will tell Jon Snow he’s sleeping with his aunt?
Winter is here, folks, and one die-hard fan of the hit show just can’t seem to keep warm.
(Spoiler Alert: The article contains plot details about previous seasons. If you haven’t watched them, I’m sorry to inform you that your life simply isn’t interesting enough.)
For those of you living under a rock or focusing on less important things like your job, money or climate change, please allow me to focus your attention on what is really important in our world. The final season of Game of Thrones is upon us.
I have to admit I wasn’t always a superfan, but if eight years of mind-boggling action, insane twists, epic battles, dragons and zombies don’t get you hooked, are you even human?
I can still feel the trauma from Ned Stark’s execution, the scars from the Red Wedding, the shock of Jon Snow’s death and the deranged thrill of the Battle of the Bastards. Game of Thrones isn’t just a TV show anymore; it is a pop-culture phenomenon, the beatlemania of our times.
Those who play our favourite characters are on their way to becoming big-name movie stars: Khal Drogo is Aquaman now, Khaleesi was in Star Wars and Sansa is set to be an X-men mutant.
But the biggest thrill, of course, is that after seven seasons of the wildest roller coaster ride of our lives, we finally get to see how this bunch of messed-up characters will end their epic journey.
In November 2018, Entertainment Weekly reported that the final season will include plenty of call backs to seasons past, kind of like a greatest hits tribute album. In fact, the opening episode will begin exactly the same way it all began way back on Apr 17, 2011 in the pilot episode, when a procession led by Robert Baratheon, the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms marched into Winterfell to meet the Stark clan.
I’m still reeling from the chaos that fateful day unleashed in my life, so mercifully this time it will be Khaleesi and her army of Dothraki that will march into Winterfell accompanied by two super cute, cuddly, fire-breathing dragons. In my humble opinion, one of them should end up on the Iron Throne.
IF YOU THINK THIS HAS A HAPPY ENDING, YOU HAVEN’T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION
I can’t wait to see how some mouth-watering encounters play out between characters who have never met before and those who previously met but didn’t exactly get along.
Sansa will meet Dany for the first time and wonder why her brave brother, the King of the North, was so happy to bend the knee to her. The above-mentioned dragons should help convince her.
Jon Snow will finally reunite with Arya. Whether she decides to wear her own face for the meeting remains to be seen.
Personally, the reunion I’m most looking forward to is Bran meeting Jaime Lannister for the first time since the latter pushed him out of the window and started the chain of events that led to this magnificent, bonkers train wreck that we all love so much. Will Jaime muster an apology? “Sorry, bro, you lost your legs – but look, I lost my hand too! So, we’re kind of even?”
Speaking of Bran, since he apparently knows everything that has ever happened but only speaks in weird one liners like, “Chaos is a ladder”, I wonder if he will pull Jon Snow aside and tell him that Daenerys is actually his aunt and it’s seriously not cool to sleep with her.
WHEN YOU PLAY THE GAME OF THRONES, YOU WIN OR YOU DIE
Looking beyond the initial hugs and kisses, I’m excited to see how the creators wrap up the mind-blowing array of storylines while offering enough twists and turns to surprise even the most cynical viewer.
What is certain is that we will all make our own predictions on how things will unfold, and what is even more certain is that all our predictions will most certainly be wrong. But when has that ever stopped a die hard GOT fan? So here’s my comprehensive, scientifically-researched list of predictions on who will live, who will die and who will keep calm and carry on.
1. WTF Arya? (Translation: Why the face, Arya?)
In the latest trailer for the final season, we see Arya bloodied and bruised, being chased by something mysterious through the crypts of Winterfell. Is it the White Walkers or someone closer who has betrayed her? We can’t tell, but what we do know is that this face-swapping superhero will at some point do some insane face-swapping to pull the rug from under our feet.
What I’d really want to see, though, is Arya taking off her own face to reveal it was someone else all along.
Prediction: Alive and kicking a**.
2. Cersei is a threat to herself, humanity and our sanity.
The trailer also shows Cersei taking a swig from that wine glass of hers. We thought she had stopped drinking because of her supposed pregnancy but it seems she’s hit the bottle again and that the whole pregnancy thing was just a big fat Cersei lie.
I have a sneaking suspicion it’s Cersei who will roll the final dice in the battle with the Night King and also meet her fate at the end of the season, probably at the hands of her lover/brother Jaime. Wouldn’t that be a satisfying end for everyone?
Prediction: So dead.
3. Sansa is dating a Jonas brother, so can’t be trusted.
On the show she fell for Joffrey. In real life she’s dating Joe Jonas. So there are serious questions about this girl’s judgment. Who is to say she isn’t prone to more bad decisions?
Prediction: Alive, possibly as Mrs Jonas.
4. Gendry and his pecs will make a comeback.
Fans got quite excited catching a glimpse of Gendry in the new trailer doing, well, Gendry things – hammering something out of Valyrian steel. As the last living son of Robert Baratheon, is he the one who will outlast them all?
Prediction: Alive and possibly sitting on the Iron Throne.
5. Jon Snow still won’t know anything.
Will Jon Snow know he’s sleeping with his aunt? Will he know he is the true inheritor of the Iron Throne? Will he know why the Lady of the Vale used to breastfeed her fully grown son? Probably not. But one theory suggests he might end up defeating the army of the dead and in the process lose his own life to become the new Night King. He will then lead the Wights back up to the north and everyone will live happily ever after. Chew on that, guys.
Prediction: Dead – well, sort of.
6. Who will end up on the Iron Throne?
Frankly, does that really matter at this point? After six feature-length episodes and the longest, biggest, baddest battle scenes ever seen, I don’t suppose we would care if a Direwolf sat on the Iron Throne. Personally, the only thing I care about is Tormund and Lady Brienne getting it on and producing adorable, giant babies. That’s the end we all really want to see, isn’t it?
The eighth and final season of Game of Thrones will debut in Asia same time as the US on Apr 15, 9am (Singapore time) with a same-day encore at 10pm, exclusively on HBO and HBO Go on Toggle. HBO is now available on Singtel.