Jade Seah was told not to wear crop tops and have long hair after a certain age

In the recent episode of their Wonder & Wellness YouTube series, Sheila Sim, 39, and Jade Seah, 40, discussed ageing, and why self-care and a good mindset are important when it comes to doing so gracefully.

The stars were joined by their producer, Jacqueline Khoo, who is “in her 50s”.

While speaking of the importance of me-time and self-care, Sheila described Jade as someone who is “very girly” as the latter takes the time to go for manicures, eyelash extensions, and hair colouring.

“To me this is a waste of time, I really don’t like one leh,” said Sheila.

Explaining that her blonde hair is not an “easy colour to maintain”, Jade said: “I guess this is my girly time. I think people need to understand that self-care looks different for everyone. Changing it from maintenance to a form of self-care that you enjoy actually makes a lot of difference.”

Jacqueline spoke up, saying that the other two women are still young, in comparison to where she is in life. She then shared her personal experience with ageing: “When you reach your 50s, there are a lot of things that society also says that you can’t do. Like for me, a lot of people say that I shouldn’t have my hair so long."

With a gasp, Jade exclaimed: “Someone recently told me that too!”

“I have only recently heard that you can only keep long hair to a certain age, like 50 is the cut-off point for it,” added Jade.

A shocked Sheila then asked: “Where do you hear all these horrible things?”

Turns out, Jade and Jacqeline have both been told such things by others. “Recently, someone has also said to me 'How long ah Jade, do you think it’s okay that you wear crop tops and shorts',” revealed the host.

“But you have such nice abs!” interrupted Sheila.

“It doesn’t matter 'cause I’m 40 now. Most of the days if I go to [Shelia’s] house or whatever, this is my normal attire. Crop top and shorts is the easiest, most comfortable thing for me,” said Jade.

Sheila then shared her two cents on the situation, wondering who exactly are the “mean” people who are overly concerned about women’s appearances as they age. “Like you [can] be critical of yourself okay, keep it at home. If people like to wear crop tops then so be it lah,” she asserted.

Jade went on to proclaim that as long as she still has hair in her sixties, she will keep it long.

"For me, it will be time [for my hair to go] when it thins,” added Jade, who then went on to encourage Jacqueline to “keep her long hair”, as it is still “really thick and nice”.

Jade then shared that she is interested to know what people think of older women keeping long hair or if there are certain expectations as to how others think they should look at different life stages.

Speaking of the expectations people have of mothers, Sheila, who is a mum of two herself, admitted: “Before I was a mum, I also judged. When I was 10, there was once my mum wore a skirt [that landed] above her knee. I told her 'Why you wear like that?'. And before I [became] a mum, there was this friend of mine who went for ZoukOut and she wore this sexy, lacy thing, and she’s a mum of two. And I was like 'Mum already why still wear until like that?' [If I was already a mum then], I wouldn’t have judged her.”

Sheila then explained her shift in mindset. Although she used to believe that the way her mum-friends dressed would influence their kids, she now feels that there shouldn’t be restrictions as to how mums should dress.

“[I was] judgemental lah. It’s always easier to see it when you’re not in that role. Just like people who are not in their 50s, maybe they are able to say this 'cause they’re not there yet. It’s very easy for them to say something mindlessly but they don’t understand that all these mindless words are actually very hurtful for people in that situation [currently],” said Sheila.

She then revealed that she has “changed a lot” since becoming a mother. She messaged many of her friends to apologise for the judgmental things she used to say when she was unable to relate to them.

“I’m not a mum but I do think that people judge mothers differently, like they can’t wear revealing [clothes], or go all out. I do think that part is changing and normalising a little bit, let’s also try to change how [older women] cannot have long hair past 50, or how they [are not supposed to] wear crop tops,” said Jade.

This story was originally published in 8Days.