Children with autism: How to make going on holiday with neurodivergent kids easier – on them and you

Taking a holiday is fun but it can also be stressful, from booking flights, sorting out accommodation and planning the itinerary. It gets even more demanding if one travels with children with special needs, such as autism.

For children with autism, travelling can be a struggle. Autism or “neurodivergent” is when people have differences in mental and neurological functions of their brains.

This is not a deficit. Instead, it’s a developmental concern where such children possess varying strengths and challenges, and therefore, are different from those who are considered “neurotypical”.

Children who are neurodivergent include those who suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorder (ASD). ASD children tend to struggle without a routine; they also have sensory sensitivity so the overload tends to happen when travelling to new places out of their comfort zone.

Brian Ong’s teenage daughter, Caryn (not their real names), was diagnosed with autism pre-pandemic. Her development disorders lay with communication and she was sensitive to loud sounds.

While this was easily managed during lockdown during the pandemic, it was post-pandemic when things started to unravel. On the first trip his family took abroad to Bangkok in Thailand, she was unsettled during the flight.

During the trip, the teenager had trouble adapting to new sights and sounds, and would often break away from the group to escape the noise.

It made both Brian and his wife jumpy throughout the trip. He said: “It was scary because we didn’t expect this behaviour. All this time, we managed her triggers and helped her cope with her other struggles, such as eye contact. We hadn’t realised her sensory development was so easily triggered by overwhelming sounds.”

HOW TRAVELLING AFFECTS NEURODIVERGENT CHILDREN

For children who are on the spectrum, routine and order are key to helping them stay on track and manage their social interactions. Even a small detour could be detrimental to their daily routines, affecting their behaviours, which are bound by these habits. And going on holiday is out of their ordinary routine.

Said Dr Syed Harun Alhabsyi, consultant psychiatrist and medical director of The Starfish Clinic of Psychiatry & Mental Wellness: “Not all children can tolerate long distances and the same is true of neurodivergent children. The mode of travel does not matter – whether by land, air or sea, any one of these modes can be difficult for neurodivergent children to adapt to.”

These children already do not read social cues well, and they are easily anxious in situations where they need to have social interactions. Whether it’s in airports, on planes or trains, those scenarios can cause high stress and trigger a meltdown.

Dr Abishek Abraham, medical director and senior consultant psychiatrist at Better Life Psychological Medicine Clinic, said that families with neurodivergent children struggle with different aspects of their journey.

“Depending on their sensitivities, and coping ability, any unexpected delays or new places which cause overstimulation could lead to an outburst.

“Things like hunger, lack of sleep, limited access to comfortable toilets, close proximity to family members like siblings for an extended period of time, could all contribute to an ‘episode’,” he added.

Dr Syed said that small things which are overlooked, such as the texture of seats and even the toilets onboard, can prove to be a point of distress for children with autism. “The unusual flushing mechanism and its corresponding sound can come as a shock to them, is one example.”

GOOD PLANNING IS KEY

Medical experts said that most parents and guardians would already know what sensitivities their children have and prepare for them.

For children who have never travelled long-distance, practise makes perfect.

Before you travel, simulate the trip

Dr Syed said if a long drive or going on a road trip is expected, simulate the trip in Singapore by taking a longer-than-usual bus or train ride, or even driving around the island without stopping to see how the child responds.

“If you’re going on a cruise, consider boat rides to Pulau Ubin or nearby islands of Bintan and Batam as a start to see how the child fares,” he said.

The idea is to get the child acquainted with the mode of travel and figure out his or her needs from that trial trip.

In addition, briefing the child on what to expect is effective for when they can anticipate changes and are not shocked by the sensory overload of being in a crowded space or coping with a new environment such as a high-speed train.

Create a routine and comforting habits

The change in schedules and the break in routine affects neurodivergent children in a big way. “Parents and guardians should pay attention to this disruption and wherever possible, try to incorporate some of their child’s regular routine during their travels, like snack time or a comfort item or toy,” said Dr Abraham.

He added that planning ahead to minimise disruptions and delays would help. Things like choice of airport and airline, transit times and even time of day for travel and mode, will make the transition from routine to holiday less disruptive.

Research and be alert to assistance

Dr Abraham advised parents to research which airlines and airports provide assistance for children with neurodivergence.

For example, Changi Airport Group launched an initiative to support those with invisible disabilities such as ASD, down syndrome and dementia. A lanyard is provided to those with these conditions and it alerts airport staff to their presence and needs. What’s more, there are staff who have been trained to assist and a step-by-step guide is also provided for such passengers.

A similar initiative, called the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower scheme is available in New Zealand across all their major airports like Auckland, Christchurch and Wellington.

The initiative is also done in the United Kingdom but Manchester Airport goes the distance and provides assistance in the form of a terminal-specific booklet, helping the child learn about the airport and how to prep themselves for a flight.

Create goals for your child

Marketing professional Daphne Lee, a mum of two whose younger child suffers from ADHD, sets goals for her child. “This is the only way we can ensure she stays focused, on task and we can ensure she is motivated enough to follow through.”

The same is done when the family travels. “I set goals for her to achieve – do this and find out that. Complete this on the journey, so as to keep some structure in place.”

Be flexible and realistic

Keeping things free and easy on your travel itinerary is a great way to anticipate any episodes and to manage any outbursts. While the structure of a tour group is fuss-free for many, it may not work for younger children with autism who are not used to travel.

Dr Syed recommends taking a relaxed approach with sightseeing and not to pack too many activities into the itinerary so as not to overload the child.

TAKING A BREAK

Dr Syed noted that while all parents need respite from work and the daily grind of parenthood, not all neurodivergent children appreciate holidays in the same way, But there is good in taking trips. It builds their ability to adapt even if it requires lots of planning in advance.

His advice: Find out what works for the child and ensure that their interests are considered as part of the travel plans.

Dr Abraham shared a similar thought but also reminded parents of neurodivergent children to ensure they run through their travel itinerary with the child, plan ahead with packing familiar staples, snacks, devices and even toys. Fidget toys, or sensory items, have been known to help younger children with autism.

Noise-cancelling headphones have been effective for many neurodivergent children, including Brian’s. “She doesn’t go anywhere without them and has set rules for usage for safety concerns. It has been a great help to reduce the overstimulation of being in a crowded space.” He added the family has travelled further in the region and will attempt Australia next.

AND A LITTLE EMPATHY FROM OTHERS

Dr Abraham said for bystanders and travelling companions, it’s always best to provide support and empathy when witnessing a child with ASD having trouble with adapting to travel. “You may not be able to intervene directly but you can assist by carrying bags or alerting airport staff on behalf of the parent.”

The final word comes from CP Tan, a parent of two neurodivergent children who are high-functioning, requiring low support needs. He added that children who are on the autism spectrum have different needs and a lot of it lies in regulating their social interactions, emotions as well as anxiety.

“There’s a lot of stigma involved and ignorance where autism is concerned. The key is to offer empathy and recognise the challenges faced by each parent so they don’t face unnecessary despair and distress,” he said.