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TikTok mums who dance with their teenage kids: Would you join the ‘dance dance revolution’?

After binge-watching too many TikTok videos of mothers doing dance trends with their teenage kids, one writer wonders if she could make it as a TikTok dance mum too.

TikTok mums who dance with their teenage kids: Would you join the ‘dance dance revolution’?

The TikTok dance mum trend features mothers performing a choreographed dance routine with their teenage daughters – and some followers can’t tell them apart. (Photo: iStock/MTStock Studio)

I was scrolling through TikTok one day when I chanced upon one of those TikTok dance challenge videos. Two Chinese girls with centre-parted long hair are gyrating away to Mariah Carey’s Touch My Body.

The attractive older girl was clearly the leader. Wearing a cropped black top and jeans, she stood in front and nailed every move, flashing her bare stomach while pulling pouty duck faces at the camera. In comparison, the younger girl in a simple tee and sweat pants looked like she was earnestly trying to get the routine right.

Then came the shocker text that popped up, proclaiming their ages: “Daughter 14. Mum 43”. Wait, whaaat? I thought the older woman could pass for a college student hanging out with her younger sis.

I quickly clicked on her name, Linda Yu Qian. I watched another video and read the caption. “Back home already. Dancing time with my teen! Fun time as always 😊”. It was followed by 14 hashtags, including #MumsofTikTok #motherdaughter #over40.

A Chinese-Canadian mum to teenage daughters Izzie, 14, and Livvy, 10, she turned out to be quite the Influencer Mum. Yu has 2.6 million followers and 123.8 million likes. Clearly, I was not the only one fascinated by her and her TikToktastic moves.

THE BIRTH OF THE TIKTOK DANCE MUM

Through Yu, I was introduced to a whole new genre and keyword searches: TikTok mums, mum daughter dance challenge and so on. What happened next, I’m sure you can all imagine. I went down a TikTok dance mum rabbit hole for the next hour.

There’s Indonesian influencer ilingkawaii, a 40-year-old makeup artist who looks like she and Linda Yuqian could be college hostel mates. Her video with her 23-year-old daughter, to the tune of Korean girl group Fifty Fifty’s Cupid, had a jaw-dropping 16.1 million views.

A bikini-clad American mum Brankaxnikolina, 40, who has almost 100,000 followers, jiggled on a beach with her 16-year-old daughter to George Ezra’s Green Green Grass. That video chalked up 15.3 million views.

Even non-famous TikTokers, like the lanky blonde joti258 who is 54 and dances with her 18-year-old daughter, saw their version of Green Green Grass hit 1.5 million views despite her modest following of under 1,800 followers.

Closer to home, suzytiktokersg, a 56-year-old Singapore freelance actress and model who has over 11,000 followers, filmed her first mum-and-daughter TikTok dance with her 20-something daughter in 2022. Their butt-twerking dance to Ba Ba Ben by DJ Cheem earned about 1,500 views.

I had so many questions.

Who – mum or daughter – taught whom? How much time do these mums spend practising the dance? And most importantly, how the heck did they manage to convince their daughters to do these TikToks?

WHY I CAN NEVER BE A TIKTOK DANCE MUM

First of all, no shade and all power to these women. But after watching so many videos – I admit, I spent days binge-watching them in the name of research – I know I can never be a TikTok dance mum. Here’s why:

1. I DON’T LOOK THE PART – AT ALL

I noticed that most of these dance mums have one thing in common: They look nothing like their real age. And they’re darn proud of it, as they should be.

Their age or birth year is emblazoned across every video as they showed off their trim figures in youthful outfits that could have come straight from their teenage daughters’ wardrobe.

Every video spawned dozens of similar comments. “Who is the mum? Both of you look the same age!” “How can she be 43?!” “I’m confused. Which is the mother and which is the daughter?”

Me, I’m in my mid-40s and on a good day, I could maybe pass for a woman in her late thirties. I don’t have a dancer bod, nor the wardrobe of itsy-bitsy cropped tops to flaunt it in. 

2. I CAN’T DANCE

In my extended family, we have three dance teachers and several who took professional dance lessons. Sadly, I do not share any of their superior rhythmic and muscular coordination skills.

And it is not for lack of trying. In primary school, I, along with my older sister Doris, joined the school dance club. This was mostly a logistical arrangement so that she could keep an eye on me during her co-curricular activity and we could take the bus home together after that.

Doris was the star dancer who was often given solo spots; she eventually became a bona fide ballerina and respected dance teacher. Me? I was relegated to being ‘the reserve’. “I’ll get to be on stage as a replacement if somebody has a stomach ache,” I innocently explained to my mother.    

The writer is wary about leaving online proof of her less-than-awesome dancing abilities – in case her students chance upon her video. (Photo: iStock/Rifka Hayati)

As a polytechnic lecturer now, I don’t want to leave online proof of my two left feet. Should my students find me in a TikTok dance challenge video, they might (actually, they will, who am I kidding?) be secretly laughing at me as I try to appear dignified in class. Teens are savage, I tell you.   

3. MY SON REFUSES TO DO A TIKTOK DANCE WITH ME

In the name of research for this story, I conducted a social experiment. I asked my 15-year-old son if he’d do a TikTok dance video with me. But I could barely get the question out before he shut me down with a resolute, “No. CRINGEY!”

I take a little comfort in knowing that my kids of my other mum friends are also not on board. One asked her teenage girls, aged 17 and 14, and they questioned her suspiciously.

Daughter #1: “Mummy, are you okay?”

Daughter #2: “Why do you suddenly want to do a TikTok?”

Daughter #1 to Daughter #2: “Mummy is on TikTok?!”

But at least, they sweetly indulged her and asked her what song she’d like to dance to, even suggesting Fifty Fifty’s Cupid. (“Like I would know!” she laughed.)

Would your kids find it too “cringey” to do a TikTok dance video with you? Try asking them. (Photo: iStock/Yoke Fong Moey)

Even my dance teacher-sister Doris, whose two daughters in their early twenties have been performing since young, said: “We dance together all the time, but suggesting a TikTok is too cringe.”

I asked my son why doing a TikTok dance video with me would be cringey. He tried to soften the blow by explaining that “I’m a guy; we don’t do TikTok videos with our mums!”

What if you were a girl? Would you do it? He grudgingly said: “Sure.”

Somehow, I’m not convinced.

Interestingly, a quick search on TikTok for ‘Mum son dance’ turned up several first dances at weddings, though there are some mum-and-son TikTok dance challenges. Intriguingly, the dance challenge videos usually show a much more relaxed mum jiving with her son – more hip-hop cool than cutesy duck faces.

These mums look like they’re having a good time hanging out with their boys. I like that they’re not trying too hard to look sexy or – dare I say it? – overshadow their teenage daughters. 

I reported my findings to my son. Look! Other guys are dancing with their mums! Shall we also do a TikTok….

“No. No. NO!”  

And just like that, my TikTok dance mum career ended before it even started.

CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.

Source: CNA/pc

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