'Love expanded': Actress Rebecca Lim welcomes second child, a baby girl

Rebecca Lim has welcomed a new member to her family – a baby girl.

The baby girl, who the Singaporean actress wants to be known as “Baby M” and whose exact birthdate she wants to keep private, was born last week at 3.6kg via a natural birth at Mount Elizabeth Novena Hospital.

The 39-year-old told CNA Lifestyle the first week since the baby's arrival was "a lot to take in". 

"A lot of things have been going on," Lim said with a chuckle. "The transition from one kid to two has been quite challenging, and my baby girl only came home a few days ago (May 13) as she had to stay in the hospital for some medical check-ups."

Lim declined to share the details of her baby’s condition, but she shared that ferrying to and fro the hospital in the first week of her baby’s life was difficult and at times made the actress feel "very helpless". 

However, Lim chose to be positive and reframed the situation. 

"I tried to think of it from a different point of view. Perhaps I could go home to spend a few more nights with just my son. That was the mindset that I was taking, as opposed to only worrying about my daughter," she said.

"I also tried not to think too much about it, because there really isn't anything I can do but to let the medical professionals and the doctors and the nurses do their best. I trusted them to take care of my daughter, and now she's home." 

Reflecting on how her two-year-old son has been adjusting to becoming a kor kor (older brother), Lim said she wanted to give him time to adapt naturally to the changes at home.

She said: “The first day our second baby was born, he was a bit apprehensive. He didn't really know what was going on.

“But I didn't really do the thing where I insisted to him throughout my pregnancy that he is going to be a kor kor soon, and that mei mei (little sister) is coming. I didn't tell him about it every day, because I've always known his personality is a bit like mine.

“We don't really show our emotions very easily, and we take time to warm up to others. If I'm still dealing with that at almost 40, I shouldn't expect so much from a two-year-old, right?”

Instead, Lim said she focused on making sure her son still felt reassured and included as the family adjusted to having a new baby.

“I wanted him to slowly get used to the new experience of having a new sibling. At the same time, I make sure to continue showing him attention and always remind him he's loved.

“Just because mei mei is here, doesn't mean she's the centre of our universe now; he's still there, too.”

While her son rightfully takes his time, the rest of the family has been elated.

"My in-laws are very excited because my husband Matthew has always been the only son, so they've never had a baby girl in the family – that makes our girl the first princess," Lim said, laughing. 

"And my mum is very happy and has been helping me with so much. From buying all my confinement food and groceries to sending my son to school and picking him up, she's been doing a lot of heavy lifting."

In an interview with 8days, Lim also revealed how eventful the birth was. Her husband, Matthew Webster, also 39, was in Indonesia for a work trip when she went into labour. Webster had already committed to the trip with the expectation that the baby would arrive about two weeks earlier, but she arrived later than anticipated.

“Thankfully, he managed to take an earlier flight back – his colleagues were very understanding – and came back about three hours before the birth,” Lim told 8days. “Initially, it was my mum accompanying me in the delivery ward, and then they had a tag team moment. Over to you, Matthew.

“He had already arranged for an earlier flight, but after work, he just rushed straight to the airport to see if he could get on any flight back.

“I reassured him that whatever is going to happen will happen, and if he wasn't around, it would be fine. Just get me like a big gift when the time comes,” she added, laughing.

For now, as she slowly takes in and cherishes the moments she has with both her children, she's also looking forward to one thing: Washing her hair.

"Yes, I'm observing all the confinement rules," she said, laughing. "I can't wait to wash my hair and relieve myself and everyone around me."

Lim added: "While this new transition has been a lot to deal with, I have a wonderful support system. It's such a privilege because with the people around me, I can really unwind, even in the midst of everything that's going on. I still have some pockets of time for myself, even in the midst of pumping or feeding, I can still catch up on a show or just do something I like."

Now that she's a mum of two, despite all the challenges, Lim feels a lot more at ease and as if her love has "expanded".

"Leading up to my second birth, I was feeling anxious. I didn't know how I would be able to handle the love for two kids, because I really have so much love for my son," she said. "There was quite a lot of fear, guilt or worry that I wouldn't be able to handle being a mom of two.

"But now that she's here, I feel like the love expanded, and it's so important to just go with the flow sometimes. 

"The quote 'yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, and today's a gift' really stuck with me. I'm just doing my best every single day. 

"And honestly, I think that applies to everyone – whether you’re a parent or not. You’re just doing your best, and that’s all that matters.”