Her banking career came first – until two unpaid breaks helped her give 'full attention' to family and herself

It was just a small change in her behaviour after Melissa Woo returned to work from her first career break that ended in October 2023, but she remembers its significance. 

The executive director with OCBC’s wealth management audit team, then 41, was immediately saddled with a “super heavy assignment” that required her to clear work over a weekend.

The only problem? She had already committed to attending a mother-daughter church retreat that same weekend.

“Previously, what I may have done was just say, ‘Okay, let’s skip the whole retreat,’” admitted Woo, now 43, having always been “very entrenched” in work. 

“But now, because of (my career break), I knew I really needed to be there for my daughters. So we made it work. I had to answer a few calls here and there, but other than that, I was there with them. It was very priceless."

Woo’s decision to attend the church retreat with her two daughters was just one of many “very subtle” ways she noticed herself being “more deliberate”, following her brief three-month unpaid break that began in July 2023, she told CNA Women.

Her second career break, also unpaid, coincidentally lasted from July to October 2024. 

While she had initially taken both breaks to be there for each daughter during the final lap of preparation before their respective Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE), her time at home proved more beneficial than she expected.

GIVING HER FAMILY – AND HERSELF – “FULL ATTENTION” 

Woo acknowledged that she could also have found ways to accomplish what she had aimed to do during her career breaks – without taking a break. But she felt it necessary to be completely present.

“There are areas in life that, if I wanted to look at, I wanted to make sure that I gave my full attention,” she said.

For one, she hoped to “imprint a core memory” on her daughters by journeying with them to “manage the inner stress and pressure they put on themselves” amid PSLE preparation. 

She wanted them to know “not just that I’m there for their academics, but also there for their overall well-being” – Woo supported them in their weaker subjects and taught them how to “regulate their schedule”. 

“When do you take breaks, when do you go and exercise downstairs, when might you need some sugar,” she said.

Exam revision aside, “the simple things were also very good”, added Woo, highlighting the extended mealtimes she now had with her children. 

“It’s something that you don’t really get to have (usually). You eat with them, but you don’t have that flexibility to be able to bond with them. And that really enriched a lot of things. I was at home a lot more.”

The impact, while subtle, was significant. “(One of my daughters) knew that I was 100 per cent there, 100 per cent able to be with her,” she said.

Now that she’s back at work, Woo’s daughters sometimes still ask her whether she’s headed out for the day. “I think (they) really appreciated me being around back then,” she said.

With her schedule now more flexible, Woo and her husband also took walks at the reservoirs. It was an activity she had always brushed off previously, telling him, “Don’t bother, we just do our own exercise.”

She also took her ageing parents to Japan after the elderly couple had to cancel their long-awaited maiden trip in 2020 due to the pandemic.

“I was like, why don’t I take the time to bring you on a trip to Japan? And because I don’t have to bring the entire family with me, I really have the time to look after them, as they’re not so mobile,” she said.

“I brought along whichever child (had completed) PSLE. I had that headspace to look after (my parents) and one child only … It was their first time there. They were very happy.”

At the same time, Woo managed to “reset” herself, prioritising her own physical, spiritual and mental well-being. She finally got around to trying different forms of exercise, like barre, which she previously didn’t have the bandwidth to add to her regular routine. 

With “more mind space”, she also developed a “deeper connection in my spiritual life” and volunteered more at church. 

“You don’t realise it but your time is always limited. You take it for granted,” she said. 

But despite reaping the benefits of taking a breather from work, she was once put off by the mere idea of a career break.

SLOWLY EMBRACING THE IDEA OF A CAREER BREAK

Having always been work-oriented, Woo was daunted by the idea of a career break. She saw it as “giving up” her responsibilities and taking a step into the unknown. 

“I’m someone who really takes pride in my work, and my daily activities and responsibilities. To hand that to another person to take over really felt like something I would not do,” she said.

But working from home during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2022 opened her eyes to what her son and daughters – aged eight, 10 and 11 respectively then – were going through in primary school.

“They were starting to struggle a lot, so it alerted me that maybe I need to be around for them during their formative years,” she said. 

Woo’s first career break in 2023 for her eldest daughter’s PSLE wasn’t just her first at OCBC, where she had worked since 2013, but since she entered the workforce in 2004.

OCBC employees with at least five years of service are eligible to take up to three months of unpaid career-break leave, up to a maximum of two career breaks during their tenure. A third break onwards will fall under the no-pay leave scheme.

It helped that other colleagues, including team members, had previously taken career breaks too. Whether it was to pursue different interests outside work or spend time with their children, they had received support from the bosses, who were open to shifting projects around to accommodate the person’s absence.

Those breaks had been “a stretch for the team”, she recalled. “But it was very heartening to see that the supervisors – not just my immediate supervisor, but our divisional heads – were very supportive and open to letting people explore (their interests).”

At her organisation, there is no stigma in taking a break, Woo said. It’s not “something that we fear or that cannot be discussed”.

“So that really opened my mind to taking time off to reset myself, to focus on my mental wellness, my overall well-being,” she added.

SUPPORTIVE BOSSES, TEAMMATES

Woo also had bosses who could provide the reassurance that the team would be able to manage in a colleague’s absence “even if it was a last-minute arrangement”, such as a family member falling ill.

Nonetheless, she informed her team and bosses in 2022 about her intention to go on her first career break the next year. 

“It helps to give fair warning to the supervisor to see whether they’re open to the idea,” she said. Woo also wanted to give her team more lead time so that projects could be managed well. 

“That helped to set up the whole idea for success,” she added.

While one’s bosses “can always say no … at least you don’t spring a surprise on them at the last minute”. 

Trust and support from one’s immediate team must be there too, Woo said.

“When I went for my first break, I saw that a lot of colleagues really stepped up, especially my peers who are about the same level as me – this is not strictly their portfolio, but they helped to shoulder the load – as well as my managers being able to accommodate me to go on leave,” she recalled.

“After that, I felt I had the confidence to be able to ask for the second (break). And everyone was kind of ready for it.”

FINDING BALANCE

Ironically, when Woo shifted her focus away from work, she discovered the career skill her bosses once gently mentioned she needed to learn: Balance.

For a start, she learnt to set up certain boundaries with her team during her breaks. 

While she was open to answering their questions, as she knew the existing project timelines, they understood that she may not respond as quickly as she normally would. 

“When we go on a career break, we must go with the right mind frame,” she advised.

“The break really helped me to grow from being just a person who’s more focused on certain areas … Definitely things (at work) are still a priority, but at least you (know how to) balance them in a way and see what’s really important.”

Asked how one can take a similar career break if they don’t believe they have the luxury of supportive bosses or colleagues, Woo suggested to first “start with yourself”. 

“Take time for yourself, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Realign your priorities and focus on what’s truly important to you. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. Try to make self-care a non-negotiable part of your daily routine, for example, through reading, relaxing or meditation,” she advised. 

“Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. This is also my resolution for 2025: To continue prioritising self-care as a regular discipline.”

Woo’s career breaks “restored the soul”, and converted her to the idea. At times, she even wished for a longer break – quite the opposite of her career-focused mindset a few years back. 

With her youngest child, her son, sitting for the PSLE in 2026, she is still considering whether to take a similar break. 

But her respite from work in 2023, and then 2024 – despite it being just three months at a go – also made her realise the need to return. She still loved the job after all.

“You cannot focus on one thing. That was an important lesson I wanted to teach my children as well,” she said.

“It’s not that you say you want to pursue certain things and because of that, you push away other things. You have to learn how to balance your mind and focus on what is correct, building up a routine that works for you, something that is sustainable,” she explained.

“And I think coming back to work helped to demonstrate that to my kids.”