Stage 3 breast cancer kicked her out of her comfort zone: 'I am bolder and more willing to live my life well'

When Gemma Foo first found out she had breast cancer in February 2018, the first thing that came to her mind was this heartbreaking thought: “Did I work too hard?”

Next, a barrage of questions: “Why me? What stage is it? My kids are still young. I’m an only child. Who will take care of my kids and parents? Will I be able to survive? Do I need chemo? Will chemo work?”

Then she pulled herself together, shook it off, and did what she always does – solve the problem.

“TIME WAS OF THE ESSENCE”

It was just months after her cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer, that Foo, then 41, felt a lump in her left breast. The general practitioner (GP) she visited immediately sent her for a mammogram and a breast ultrasound.

The tests revealed an irregular lump and a biopsy confirmed that it was cancer. After reeling from the shock, Foo decided: “My goal is to get well. So, I’ll focus on that and do whatever I need to do.”

She wasted no time and made an appointment with the breast surgeon the GP recommended. “Time was of the essence. I just wanted to get started on any surgery and treatment as soon as possible,” said Foo, who was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. 

However, a breast MRI showed that the milk ducts were also infected and stretched 7cm. Initially, her surgeon had planned to remove the lump via lumpectomy. Although that could still be done, the doctor offered Foo another option – to remove her whole breast. This would lower her chances of recurrence.

Having heard horror stories about other breast cancer patients who suffered from recurrence, the pragmatic Foo discussed it with her husband, Quentin. With his support, she decided to remove the entire breast. “I wanted peace of mind. I didn’t want any nagging worry impacting my mental health.”

It was a good thing she did so because during the surgery, the surgeon found and removed nine infected lymph nodes. Foo was then re-diagnosed as having Stage 3 breast cancer.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS RALLIED BEHIND HER

Foo’s husband was then pursuing further studies in the United Kingdom. He abandoned his exam preparations and came home – and never went back to complete his studies.

He held off looking for a job so that he could chauffeur Foo around for her medical appointments. He also took over ferrying their kids – Ethan was 12 and taking his PSLE then, while Alyssa was nine – to their various tuition classes. (They are now 17 and 14.) Meanwhile, Foo’s mum and helper cooked her nutritious meals to keep her energy up for chemotherapy.

Her boss and colleagues at the bank where she had worked as a financial analyst for over a decade, rallied behind her. “I was on nine months of fully paid medical leave, which helped me to focus on my recovery,” recalled Foo.

She looked to cancer survivors for support. Her cousin and godmother had both battled breast cancer successfully and readily shared tips, from where to buy wigs to healthy food to improve her immunity.

“I suffered from secondary lymphedema (caused by injury or obstruction to the lymphatic system) after the removal of my lymph nodes. My cousin introduced me to compression garments and a special lymphatic massage, which really helped me to manage the water retention, discomfort and pain,” said Foo, who also faced stiff joints, constipation and hair loss from chemotherapy.

Another cancer warrior who inspired her: A pint-sized, always perfectly groomed elderly woman, Lin Laoshi (Teacher Lin). The 80-something former Chinese teacher had taught her in primary school and in recent years, Foo and her primary school mates would meet the kindly teacher for regular meals.

Lin Laoshi told Foo about her first breast cancer diagnosis when she was 51 years old – and how she beat it twice. “Knowing that she managed to recover well, and is still healthy and fit in her eighties, was a great source of comfort to me,” Foo said.

Foo also had an outpouring of love from her friends. While recuperating after surgery, she was surprised to find her primary school classmates – some of whom she hadn’t met since they were 12 – trooping into her hospital room, bearing gifts. “We had a mini party. It wasn’t the best time to party but I felt very well-loved.”

As she recovered, friends and family marked her milestones with her. As her hair grew out, Foo abandoned her wig when she and her family went on their first post-surgery holiday to Bangkok, in December 2018.

To mark a year after her treatment, she and her besties went on a girls' trip to Fukuoka, Japan. In November 2019, now sporting a full head of hair, Foo and her family visited Beijing. Most recently, they went on their first post-COVID 19 ‘revenge trip’ to Hokkaido in June 2023.

CANCER MADE HER BRAVER AND BOLDER

Over the last five years, Foo found herself embracing a peculiar paradigm shift after having cancer.

She had never found the time to exercise before. But her chemotherapy and radiation treatments caused her to wake up with frozen fingers, stiff joints and water retention.

To aid her recovery, she started exercising regularly to improve her blood circulation. She also took small but nutritious and easily digestible meals, and juiced vegetables and fruits.

“I visited more parks than I ever did. Labrador Park, Bishan Park, Punggol Park, Kallang Park… I lived next to Bishan Park for nine years and I’d never visited it until I got cancer. It became my routine to walk in the park on alternate days,” said Foo.

She also finally committed to taking a nine-month religious course to become a Catholic.

Since her chemotherapy sessions were at Mount Elizabeth Novena Hospital, a stone’s throw away from the Church of St Alphonsus (popularly known as Novena Church), she took that as a sign that she should make the time for its weekly classes. She’d also drop by the church to pray before her chemo session.

She met other cancer patients at the church programme, including a lymphoma patient in his seventies. “I was inspired by him because he had recovered from two relapses. He was so jovial and active, that he gave me hope,” recounted Foo.

Post-surgery, and during the COVID-19 period, she became more aware that work should not be her only focus. “I became more aware that I needed to be engaged in more things,” she said.

So she picked up baking and enjoyed making breakfast buns for her family.

When she hit her 10th anniversary at her job, Foo rewarded herself with a sewing machine and watched YouTube videos to teach herself to sew.

“My next goal – to make a dress. I plan to utilise my SkillsFuture credit and sign up for a course,” she added.

LEAVING A JOB SHE WAS COMFORTABLE WITH

A health scare like breast cancer might make some sink deeper into their comfort zone but not Foo. “Previously, I didn’t even think about moving to a new job. But given what has happened, I am bolder and more willing to live my life well and try new things.”

In 2022, she joined a different bank, relishing the opportunity to learn new things and a new work culture. She also managed a team again after taking a break from it for years, choosing previously to focus on her young kids.

“I don’t think of myself as ‘Oh, I’m sick, I cannot do anything.’ I’m just somebody who has taken on new challenges.”

LEARNING TO TRULY ‘CHILLAX’   

Over the years, this go-getter has learned more about self-care. This includes working at a more sustainable pace and focusing on life, not just work.

“I couldn’t tell I was overworking because my mind was always active, but physically my body was complaining,” she said. “I’d work overtime a lot, just to complete a task that could have waited for tomorrow.”

For instance, she now reaches out to old friends regularly and recently attended a reunion with her secondary schoolmates whom she had not met for 10 years. “Chatting about our old teachers and learning that they are well and have grandkids – these little things make me happy.”

Despite having breast cancer, Foo considers her current life an improvement over her old one. She is now better equipped to manage her water retention, joint pain and stiffness. “I feel healthier, more active, more focused. I enjoy a better quality of life. My lifestyle has changed – for the better.”

She also finds that she doesn’t get upset as easily as before. “I’m more patient. I can let go of an issue or tolerate it. As long as the end goal is reached, it doesn’t need to be done my way. My husband says I have mellowed a lot,” laughed Foo.

 “Overall, I like the more chillax new me.”